Hi everyone,
I’m a 24 year old woman, and about 1.5 years ago my uncle unexpectedly passed away in his sleep from cardiac arrest. Looking back, I know this wasn’t the sole cause of my panic disorder, but it was definitely the trigger that set everything off.
After a series of severe panic attacks, I developed panic disorder along with pretty intense health anxiety, especially cardiophobia. Since then I’ve been doing behavioral therapy, and I genuinely feel like I’ve made progress. I don’t have panic attacks nearly as often anymore, and I can generally function okay in everyday life.
However, my health anxiety, especially my fear of anything heart-related is still very intense. Compared to some people with panic disorder, I know my situation isn’t the worst. I can go for walks, climb stairs, and manage everyday life, but this fear still affects me every single day and influences many of the decisions I make.
One of the hardest parts is that I’m still scared of going to sleep because of what happened to my uncle. I also still catch myself checking my pulse from time to time. If it feels “too fast,” I panic. If it feels “too slow,” I panic. No matter what I feel, I end up convincing myself that something is wrong, and it leaves me feeling extremely anxious.
I also barely exercise because I’m still afraid of raising my heart rate. I know that’s part of the vicious cycle, but the fear feels very real. On top of that, I have scoliosis in my thoracic spine and a lot of muscle tension around my chest and upper back, which often creates sensations that make me even more anxious and reinforce my fear that something is wrong with my heart.
I’ve had a full cardiac work-up. About a year ago I saw a cardiologist who did an ECG and an echocardiogram, and everything was normal. I also had a Holter monitor a few years ago, which was normal as well. Rationally I know those results should reassure me, but emotionally they just don’t seem to stick. Sometimes I even worry that all the stress and anxiety have somehow damaged my body.
What makes this especially difficult is that feeling stuck with this fear sometimes leads me into periods of extreme hopelessness and sadness. It can be really discouraging because I know I’ve made progress with my panic disorder overall, but this particular fear still has such a strong hold on me. I just wish I could finally move past it.
I know that exposure is probably the answer in the long run, and I’m working on it in therapy. But I’d really love to hear from people who’ve been through something similar.
If you’ve recovered (or significantly improved) from cardiophobia or heart-focused health anxiety, what helped you? Were there any mindset shifts, coping strategies, or experiences that made a real difference? I’d especially appreciate positive recovery stories, as I think they would really give me some hope.
Thank you ❤️