I love to draw, write, and edit, and they are important to me in that exact order. Ever since i was little all i ever wanted to do was create things, and even at age 22 I still love it more than anything. I love the feeling of making stories and creating things other people will engage with, but there's a problem. I've been plagued by feelings of mediocrity, that even if i try very very hard i will never be anything great, let alone good. It's hard to describe, but i get the feeling that because I didn't get on the grindset as a kid there's no chance now. I hear about these youtubers and 20 somethings who get million dollar picture deals and then i look at my art and it's still slightly above average. There's also the fact that projects require money and certain things that I don't have, so there's the feeling that because there's a low chance I'll ever escape poverty I'll never get to make something truly great.
How do I fight this?
Just to help me understand better, can you give me an example of a 20-something artist who got a million dollar picture deal? Also you seem to have a very binary all-or-nothing outlook. You are either a millionaire or you’re worthless? Can you not be satisfied by just being moderately successful? If art is so important to you, can’t you just be satisfied by doing it and having some people enjoy it?