Im a trans masc but i have a lot of internalised transphobia going on so im keeping girly appearence for now. Im out only to my closest family and friends which doesnt include my grandparents
Today i came to my grandparents house and my granddad started fixing my shirts collar cuz it was folded. I aked why he was doing it (pure curiosity, i simply dont understand why he cared enough to fix it if were at home and all)
and he said "to make you look more feminine".
So i anwsered "what if i dont wanna be feminine, maybe id want to be masculine"
So he asked me "why do you wear bra?"
"Cuz i have boobs" that was my anwser.
"Exactly. So youll never be a real man."
It made me feel like shit. My internalized transphobia grew like a thousand times and now i cant stop thinking abt it. My granddad isnt homophovic so i didnt think he'd say anything like that...
I'm an AMAB demiguy (too old for anything -boy, and well, my gender is mostly man with the rest being gendervoid) in his 40s and each time someone has mentioned the words "real man"/"be a man" near me, I almost go berserk. Just because I have that plumbing doesn't mean I don't know exactly how you feel. That was completely uncalled for.
Mi dispiace tantissimo 🖤
I wish that old prick live long enough to see you become the man you want to be and live the life the way you want it to be. I hope he has to watch you live your life for the fullest while he suffocates on his hatred. You just focus on taking care of your body and mind. Stay strong and stay away from Granpa Bigot. 😇️
Dudes with moobs are still men, you can be a man and have a chest <3
One unfortunate thing I have realized is that a lot of people are only "not homophobic" when the homo isn't at home. I have heard one too many stories about people who were "supportive" of LGBT until it was their own family that needed the support. I do hope that this isn't that case, and that it was just an older generation not realizing the impact of their words and that he will learn and be better. But either way, being a real man has nothing to do with what clothes someone wears or what parts they've got. Being a real man is about being respectful of others, standing up for those who need help, and being able to tell if the thermostat has been touched regardless of what room of the house you are in.