I don't know why I keep feeling like I have to give an apology to many people, like I don't have friends in real life but it's like I've been consuming self improvement related content for years and years from people talking in their car to professionals and even listening to podcasts. I have noticed people make videos or talk about life and problems in many various forms from positivity to motivation to bitter truth and eye opening knowledge. But after seeing hundreds of videos, posts, articles and stuff at the end I just feel like I have not gained nothing. It breaks my heart that I'm letting myself down everyday and my soul just seems to be breaking apart. It's like even strangers had offered me advice and even saw real life events happening by listening and simply observing other people lives. Their struggles and their way of success. Because I'm just where I am as I was idk 8-9 yrs ago. Nothing has been achieved. And it's the same habits, routine, way of living and mindset. Even deep down I know I have to step up and do something and make tiny wins to build momentum and confidence will come back in life eventually. I'm still not doing it. It's like I just don't understand. I'm speechless