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r/CasualConversation · u/ScoutLuiAug 1, 2026, 6:35 PM

Since when did coffee shops become libraries? Stop glaring at me for having a normal conversation

I went to a local cafe today to get coffee and catch up with a friend. We were talking at a completely normal, respectful volume. Yet, the entire "laptop army" stared at me like I was screaming during a funeral.Since when did cafes become corporate offices? It’s a coffee shop. It is literally designed for socializing and community. If you need absolute silence to type your email or study for an exam, go to an actual library. Stop giving paying customers dirty looks for using a public space exactly how it was intended.

139

Comments

u/kindcrow1Aug 1, 2026, 6:40 PM
Yeah, that's totally weird. As an aside, you might have one of those voices that carry. Nothing wrong with that at all, and usually people don't even know they have a voice that carries, but with people who do, you can hear every word they are saying even when they are speaking at a completely normal level and the room is full of other people talking. They other people are just a buzz and the voice-carrying person is very distinct. Even so, no one should be giving you a dirty look for just chatting with your friend in a coffee shop!
- u/lucid_intent1Aug 1, 2026, 6:51 PM
  There are people who are very loud talkers. Sometimes it stems from being in denial about hearing issues, but not always.
  - u/kindcrow1Aug 1, 2026, 6:58 PM1 reply
  - u/Siukslinis_acc1Aug 1, 2026, 7:19 PM2 replies
- u/ImpressiveAnswer30501Aug 1, 2026, 6:56 PM
  This is me. I’m the problem. My voice/laugh will carry and I won’t realize it and the folks I’m with will politely remind me to quiet down. I must do better 🫡
  - u/kindcrow1Aug 1, 2026, 7:03 PM1 reply
  - u/ailish1Aug 1, 2026, 7:22 PM1 reply
  - u/Reasonable-Mess30701Aug 1, 2026, 8:07 PM
  - u/shiddyfiddy1Aug 1, 2026, 8:23 PM1 reply
- u/FernandoAlonso661Aug 1, 2026, 8:01 PM
  yeah this. you probably sounded normal to yourself, but some people are just naturally super audible without realizing
u/Normal_Choice93221Aug 1, 2026, 6:41 PM
It's definitely not the same as a bar. Normal convo is fine but I've seen people who treat it like they are at a noisy club. Not saying you did but that's just my perspective
- u/FasterAndFuriouser1Aug 1, 2026, 7:00 PM
  No he’d rather exercise his right to talk and joke at the volume he’s comfortable with.
  - u/Normal_Choice93221Aug 1, 2026, 7:20 PM1 reply
- u/thecheesycheeselover1Aug 1, 2026, 8:37 PM
  Yeah, I don’t glare at people in public but my god some people are so comfortable shouting in ordinary conversation. I hate it.
u/LBfalcon571Aug 1, 2026, 6:46 PM
If everyone is staring then yes your voice might be the issue or the context of your convo. Usually a coffee shop is pretty loud anyways
u/edthesmokebeard1Aug 1, 2026, 6:50 PM
None of those clowns are reading your post.
u/Imaginary-Savings8511Aug 1, 2026, 6:57 PM
Are you American?
- u/PlayfulIndependence51Aug 1, 2026, 7:08 PM
  Chinese/Koreans/Nigerians/Albanians/X can be louder. IT depends.
  - u/Imaginary-Savings8511Aug 1, 2026, 7:12 PM1 reply
u/Suz6261Aug 1, 2026, 6:58 PM
Yep, not a library or co-working space, but a hopefully profitable business, a coffee shop where you should just be sitting as long as it takes for you to finish your coffee and croissant in a reasonable eating time.
u/FasterAndFuriouser1Aug 1, 2026, 6:58 PM
You obviously can’t read a room. I’m sure some shops are loud with traffic and open convo. Go find one or dial the volume back and JFC quit fighting the universe. There’s one like u in every crowd.
- u/ScoutLui1Aug 1, 2026, 7:03 PM
  I don't thing that I have to adjust on the atmosphere, just for having completely normal conversation with another person, because 10 weirdos decided to do their "projects" in a COFEE SHOP!
  - u/dasnotpizza1Aug 1, 2026, 7:08 PM2 replies
- u/alphabetikalmarmoset1Aug 1, 2026, 7:06 PM
  \^ I found the jerk
  - u/FasterAndFuriouser1Aug 1, 2026, 9:06 PM
- u/wonderj991Aug 1, 2026, 8:01 PM
  Not sure about your speed, but you are most definitely "furiouser"
u/ScoutLui1Aug 1, 2026, 7:00 PM
I am a male, working in the office for 8 hours.Most of the time I am quiet so I know how to respect public and working space. I am speaking to clients, co workers, friends...I know there is nothing wrong with my voice and behavior.
u/Puzzleheaded_Sea23171Aug 1, 2026, 7:01 PM
I think there’s room for both. As long as people aren’t being loud or disruptive, coffee shops have always been places to meet, chat, and work.
u/[deleted]1Aug 1, 2026, 7:01 PM
[removed]
u/whoframedwhiterabbit1Aug 1, 2026, 7:04 PM
To dispel the myth, libraries are not really quiet either. At least not most public libraries. Some may have study rooms or designated quiet areas, but you're thinking of an academic library for that level of quiet. Public libraries have children, meetings, people talking on their phones (or to themselves), and patrons that need communication at higher decibel levels. There may be times when you can hear a pen drop, but for that to be a guarantee hit up a college library. All that to say, you getting mean mugged at a shop when there's all the noises of the machines whirring and grinding, dishes clinking, and the part where it isn't ANY kind of library is silly. I hope you and your friend started talking louder.
u/Witty_Direction61751Aug 1, 2026, 7:05 PM
Murdering someone? Straight to jail, robbery? Straight to jail, speaking normally in public? Straight to jail.
- u/PatienceEffective2481Aug 1, 2026, 7:29 PM
  Drinking a coffee at a coffee shop and hanging out in a public place? Straight to jail
u/xboxhaxorz1Aug 1, 2026, 7:06 PM
Why didnt you ask them that, why are you asking us? Thats part of why they become libraries its because when we have issues we complain on our digital devices instead of communicating with others There are tons of posts of people asking why this and why that to people who werent there, they dont directly talk to the people they are having the issues with
- u/Flimsy_Ad34761Aug 1, 2026, 7:19 PM
  Hello, and welcome to social media.
  - u/xboxhaxorz1Aug 1, 2026, 7:30 PM
u/Remote_Bumblebee22401Aug 1, 2026, 7:08 PM
It's just a matter of reading the room. If your volume is significantly louder than everyone else in a space, you're being rude. It's like people who play games on their phones with the volume turned up in waiting rooms.
- u/MDCCCLV1Aug 1, 2026, 8:57 PM
  That's not how it works. Your logic means that any place where people aren't currently talking you have to be quiet in.
u/OneTinSoldier5671Aug 1, 2026, 7:12 PM
And our librarys have coffee shops in their lobbys.
u/invisiblebyday1Aug 1, 2026, 7:12 PM
Meh, let 'em stare and give their dirty looks. If having a normal conversation at a coffee shop disrupts them, that's a them problem, not a you problem.
u/Critical_Thinker_5351Aug 1, 2026, 7:13 PM
Eff them. If they don't like it, they can leave.
- u/draftgirl241Aug 1, 2026, 7:29 PM
  Def eff them. They should be wearing headphones/ear plugs if they don’t want noise. Coffee shops are places to connect. If they want silence, they should go to the library. Which also has free wi-Fi, by the way
  - u/Critical_Thinker_5351Aug 1, 2026, 7:33 PM
u/BaldPleaser1Aug 1, 2026, 7:18 PM
I’m with you on this. I’ve had similar in the past. Only I dropped a comment to my friend who was having a coffee and catch up with me of something along the lines of how it didn’t realise that coffee shops became silent no speaking venues. A couple of old ladies who were sat beside us laughed out loud and agreed with us. It then became 4 of us having a good old chin wag not caring about who could hear us. You shouldn’t feel guilty or anything. You’ve done nothing wrong. Keep frequenting your place and keep on chatting 😉
u/oCdTronix1Aug 1, 2026, 7:19 PM
It’s not a public space. A library is a public space. I think most of the time people who do that buy a coffee. The staring is kinda odd. Is it possible they were not trying to stare you down but what they overheard from your discussion made them look at you because it was perplexing? Like maybe you said something and they were like ‘what the ehll did she just say?’
u/[deleted]1Aug 1, 2026, 7:23 PM
[deleted]
u/Acrobatic-Street-2351Aug 1, 2026, 7:27 PM
cafes are social spaces with wifi the laptop army rented one coffee and decided they own the soundscape headphones exist bro
u/Redditor_PC1Aug 1, 2026, 7:28 PM
Very odd. Most coffee shops I go to are so loud I have to use headphones. They shouldn't go to loud places if they want peace and quiet. That's on them, not you.
u/JanetInSpain1Aug 1, 2026, 7:32 PM
I've had conversations in coffee shops and never been glared at. Are you sure it was "indoor voice" normal volume? Do you have a voice resonance that really carries? I suspect you were louder than you think.
u/tinybrrrfriend356371Aug 1, 2026, 7:33 PM
Is it known for being a quiet spot or near a university? There are family friendly coffee shops( loud and full of games and food and fun) and others frequented by professionals who work and others that are quiet and out of the way.
u/gb9971Aug 1, 2026, 7:34 PM
laptop army Lol. if i was a laptop soldier (😂) working in a public place, its my own responsibility to pack noise cancelling headphones in case i really wanted them. OP is right to chat away.
u/Aelyrielle1Aug 1, 2026, 7:36 PM
At the same time that libraries became coffee shops.
u/Mentalfloss11Aug 1, 2026, 7:39 PM
Agreed. They can go elsewhere or wear earplugs.
u/tiny_bad191Aug 1, 2026, 7:41 PM
some people take their coffee seriously and want silence, but a lively chat is part of the coffee shop vibe. I've had some great convos at my local spot.
u/DotAffectionate871Aug 1, 2026, 7:41 PM
Yea......Like me, you have voice that carries..... Also telling your friend about the amount of pus you managed to squeeze out of the boil near your asshole, probably didn't help with the dirty looks either..........
u/ObviousToe16361Aug 1, 2026, 7:44 PM
In the early 2000s an old white lady with one massive dreadlock asked me a college classmate to talk quietly inside a Starbucks. Uhh… ma’am, excuse you? Until you tell the baristas to make espresso and cappuccino quietly, let alone blend frappuccinos, then you can leave. It was a beautiful day and an umbrella’d table had just opened up outside, and me, being the kowtowing community college student that I was, agreed to go outside instead. I saw this same woman on the bus several times after that and she was equally crazy every time. Including listening to the news on a radio and then loudly repeating the headlines every few minutes before erratically jumping from seat to seat and off the bus. Anyway, I enjoy the hustle and bustle of a Starbucks whether I’m working, reading, crocheting, or catching up with a friend. The music, the crowds, the industrial kitchen equipment, all blend together into a nice white noise. A loud white noise, but still enjoyable.
u/zph0eniz1Aug 1, 2026, 7:44 PM
Just me wondering why here. I wonder if they are getting stressed over there work or whatever it is and taking out frustrations on others. Also the factor that I'm sure libraries have been declining for sometime now.
u/noahboah1Aug 1, 2026, 7:54 PM
idk boss, the age old adage of "if everyone's an asshole it might be you" probably applies here one person mean mugging you? probably just a jerk. but the entire coffee shop? maybe there's a volume issue at play or something. definitely worth thinking about.
u/Worried_Ad91161Aug 1, 2026, 8:21 PM
seriously, it's like you need a library card just to enjoy a coffee now
u/IHumpedYoMumma1Aug 1, 2026, 8:36 PM
Every time I go to my local coffee shop, it usually contains a mum group, 4 people on laptops (potentially working on novels) a few elderly and what I assume are people who have gone to a coffee shop for peace and quiet. And every time I talk to whoever I'm with, I feel heads snap round (mostly from the laptop users), seemingly shocked that I am talking and judging me. It's a weird feeling.
u/RICK-dalton-771Aug 1, 2026, 8:36 PM
Honestly I miss when cafes felt more social. I’d much rather hear people laughing and talking than sit in a room full of 20 laptops 😂
u/SLOspeed1Aug 1, 2026, 8:38 PM
Read the room.
u/gmoney_ca1Aug 1, 2026, 8:41 PM
Maybe they don’t care that you’re talking? Unless they said something you have no idea what they’re thinking. My friend likes writing in cafes because he says the noise helps him focus. I’ve been in cafes reading while I wait for friends and realize afterwards that I’m scowling because of what’s happening in my book. I look up from time to time to and glance around the cafe to avoid straining my eyes, no doubt still scowling. But the expression on my face has nothing to do with people in the cafe.
u/affemannen1Aug 1, 2026, 8:48 PM
omg! i said the exact same thing in a thread were people were complaining about some diners being loud in a coffeshop. My argument is that it is a place for social gatherings and talks with friends. I got downvoted into oblivion for static a normal fact. People clearly have been living behind screens for way to long.
u/minyaaku1Aug 1, 2026, 9:07 PM
abosultely it is a public space where you can do what you want as long as legal. tell them to go to a private space like coworker spaces that is also known nowadays