The short naps are developmentally normal at this age because they can’t link sleep cycles (it’s part of the 4mo sleep regression). You’re lucky she’s still sleeping through the night! It’s so tough though
My LO is 4 months old and is having a really hard time falling asleep independently. She has become very dependent on motion, and we have to rock and walk with her every single time she needs to sleep.
For some background, she was extremely colicky during her first few months. Rocking and walking were often the only ways we could calm and settle her, so we naturally relied on motion to help her sleep. Now that her colic has improved, it seems she has become very accustomed to being rocked to sleep and doesn't know how to fall asleep any other way.
Lately, she's been getting extremely cranky if we don't put her down as soon as she shows signs of being tired. We often spend close to an hour rocking her, only for her to nap for about 30 minutes. She then wakes up, plays for 10–15 minutes, becomes overtired, and starts crying again until we rock her back to sleep. This cycle keeps repeating throughout the day and is becoming quite exhausting for us.
I feel like her inability to fall asleep independently is also causing her to wake frequently from her naps.
The only positive is that she sleeps through the night, so our main challenge is helping her learn to fall asleep on her own during the day.
Has anyone been through something similar?
Any tips would be of great help
P.S. “Drowsy but awake” has never worked for us.
The short naps are developmentally normal at this age because they can’t link sleep cycles (it’s part of the 4mo sleep regression). You’re lucky she’s still sleeping through the night! It’s so tough though
Drowsy but awake didn’t stand a chance in our house till around 7.5 months and even then, it worked maybe 1/3 of the time. At 4 months, baby’s nervous system is underdeveloped and they rely on you to co-regulate. If she’s not staying asleep, it makes me think she’s simply not tired enough. As far as the rocking, my daughter just slowly stopped needing/wanting to be rocked and bounced like crazy. We sway in a nursery rocker sometimes at 9.5 months. 4 months is notoriously hard in terms of sleep so hang in there! They have big developmental leaps around that age because their sleep cycles are maturing. Our “regression” lasted about 3 weeks (around weeks 15-18).
We started setting ours down for 5 minutes when she shows signs of being sleepy, just straight into the crib, she falls asleep like 70-80% of the time before the 5 minutes are up. Obvs making sure she's full, clean diaper, burped etc. It's been a game changer.
I’d try getting her a bouncer that she can bounce herself in hopes the novelty will wear off and she can self sooth using it for naps if needed should take your workload down at least.
We use this one https://www.amazon.com/BabyBj%C3%B6rn-Bouncer-Balance-Woven-Jersey/dp/B0CLV64H9L/ref=sxin_23_pa_sp_phone_search_thematic_sspa? Her daycare seems to also use a bouncer for her they use: https://www.amazon.com/Ergobaby-Bouncer-Adjustable-Position-Newborn/dp/B0BF31VXSX/ref=mp_s_a_1_3
Babies’ time in containers should be limited to necessary car travel plus no more than 1 extra hour per day, because it impedes their gross motor development and can increase the chance of developing flat spots in their heads. And it is never safe to let them sleep in a container like a bouncer, either. If your daycare lets her sleep in a bouncer, that is almost certainly a reportable violation. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/container-baby-syndrome
My daughter napped like five times a day at that age, 30 min on the dot every time. I really think it’s just your kid’s age and stage of development
Exact same situation as you. We transitioned to feeding and rocking her until she's drowsy and setting her down awake but drowsy 90% of the time she goes to sleep on her own. We started this at 5 months.
Our LO also loves to be rocked to sleep. While we stand. And walk around. A real motion junkie. We’ve crossed the threshold to near-independent sleep and the key was back pats. Lots and lots of back pats.
I agree with others that she may not be tired enough if it’s taking so long to rock to sleep. At 4 months, my guy became so fussy due to teething and more awareness of the world. For a while we thought it was tiredness. We found that taking him out into the world while he was awake helped stimulate him so he was less fussy and more tired for naps. Are you able to extend naps by finishing them as a contact nap? It’s such a tough age. Wishing you the best!
I can’t speak to others baby, but ours simply won’t sleep anymore at 4mo without massive help. It doesn’t matter how tired she is, her only states are “awake, and doesn’t want to sleep” and “overtired, and will scream until you put me to sleep.”
Put them in their bed. Clean, dry, safe, full and let them work it out with themselves it sound harsh, but it works
How many times did you try drowsy but awake? How long did you let them fuss/cry? Independent sleep is a skill that must be learned, and that requires practice, just like anything else. After about 7 days straight of laying down awake for every nap/sleep, failing horribly every time, our LO finally began to fall asleep on his own. This continued off and on for 4 more weeks before he finally had a (near) 100% success rate. It takes time and practice. Common mistake to give up too early!
You could try feeding to sleep. It’s been working so incredibly well for us for almost a year. It might be somewhat controversial, but it works for a lot of families.
Drowsy but awake was possible for us around 9 months old (when she’s truly tired, of course).
It’s so wild that this is a controversial take lol. It’s literally what the biology of feeding is designed to do, that’s why it works. I hate that so many of us have been duped into thinking that’s a problem or a bad habit when we literally evolved for that to work. If it’s a problem for the parent then sure, don’t do jt, but so many people are told that it inherently is a problem and try to stop feeding to sleep even when it’s working well! Every human in all of history has figured out how to fall asleep without a boob in their mouth, long before 20th and 21st century westerners started telling people they had to take special steps to break the habit.
The reason this can be a problem is tooth health Feeding to sleep when they’re itty bitty is fine, but once they get teeth, having a bottle of milk then going straight to bed without brushing can lead to dental decay
Why are you concerned about a 4 month old needing to be rocked to sleep? It’s beyond developmentally normal now and beyond? Independent sleep isn’t the issue here. Your baby is normal. Feed or rock to sleep.
It might get promlematic for parents if the baby is heavy. Also my 4 month son will not always fall asleep when fed to sleep, its so random, esp for bedtime... No obvious pattern
What you’re describing is totally normal, but if you want to change it, it sounds like you are probably going to need some type of sleep training. The fact that she sleeps through the night is amazing and I don’t want to tell you how to feel but I would have paid like 80 thousand dollars to get my baby to sleep through the night. He didn’t sleep through the night til he was almost a year old. We used Ferber to sleep train and I wish I did it sooner.
I’m so sorry but this breaks my heart. Why are you expecting a 4 month old to sleep independently? They’re a baby! They can’t even sit yet, some barely even roll. It is so normal for babies to need something! Even adults need something for sleep. We are pack animals and carry mammals, your baby needs you to feel safe and comforted and that is so important for development.
My boy was very dependent on motion to both fall and stay asleep at that age. Of course he preferred to be held in mamas arms while standing (how DARE you try to sit down and save your back lol) but that wasn’t gonna fly in our house. We splurged on a baby rocker that had more of a swing motion as opposed to a jolting up-and-down, and it really helped. Initially we would have to rock him in our arms and verrryyy slowly transfer to the swing when he was asleep. Over the period of about a week we started transferring him to the swing earlier and earlier while “drowsy”. Eventually it became clockwork - Merlin suit (or sleep sack) + binky + lovie + white noise + dark room + 30 seconds of singing in arms >> swing. Naps generally just sucked around the age of 4-6 months but having the routine and the swing as consistent sleep tools worked to at least avoid the contact nap trap.
The reason this can be a problem is tooth health Feeding to sleep when they’re itty bitty is fine, but once they get teeth, having a bottle of milk then going straight to bed without brushing can lead to dental decay
A lot of people here invalidating your feelings and how difficult it is for you and I’m sorry for that. Sometimes we have to do things that may not be “biologically normal” to maintain our own sanity Some people are very against it, but you can start sleep training at 4 months. There are plenty of sleep training methods beyond cry it out. We don’t let our baby just cry, but we do sleep train.
Man the intense battle to get just a 30min nap phase was brutal…but like others have said it’s completely normal and she will grow out of it!!
Stimulate baby....books...noisy rattle toys that can roll or shake. Silly little touch games . Tummy time. I'd do this with kids in my care. At least for 30 to 45 minutes. Lunch time and then soft music Brahms lullaby works wonders and just lay them down and rub tummy.