The Pacifica Hybrid's rated for 3,600 lbs and you can find them used at decent prices. Depreciation hits those vans pretty hard so your money goes further than on an XC90. Plus the minivan form factor is just infinitely more practical for daily commuting and gear hauling than either of those other two.
After raising 4 kids I'm thinking (hoping) our minivan days are behind us. But I do agree from a practicality standpoint they can't be beat!!