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r/ainbow · u/whathesigma125 jul 2026, 23:35

Homophobic kink

I have an odd kink. It feels really good when people are homophobic and call me homophobic slurs or just slurs in general. Is this normal? Do other people get this?

521

Comentarios

u/Rare-Juggernaut-75322425 jul 2026, 23:47
First time I ever hear that. As long as it's a consentual roleplay thing you're doing with someone and not actual hostility and danger for your safety I suppose it's fine.
- u/Equal-Exercise3103-1626 jul 2026, 13:12
  I disagree. Why would someone who relates to the socialized positioning of aggressive masculinity as heterosexist and homophobic not go for the “real thing”, that is, a really heterosexual and homophobic one rather than a dupe who only plays an homophobic homosexualized role? It all feels pathetic when seen through these lenses. I have given my Sane & Safe Play-Take on Gay Male BDSM D/s Degradation/Praising in another comment tho: https://www.reddit.com/r/ainbow/s/iRuHra9jSU
u/Neuroxix1025 jul 2026, 23:56
I share this. Like the other poster said as long as it's consensual roleplay I personally feel fine in such a situation. However I would NOT take kindly to aggressive homophobia outside a safe intimate setting with someone I trust. I prefer to be the one doing the humiliation than the one being humiliated (this is roleplay and I am not of the belief that being gay or queer is something to be ashamed of) but I'm a switch so I enjoy both ends of the dynamic.
- u/ClawingAtMyself326 jul 2026, 23:11
  Yeah as someone who loves being a sub in this dynamic, it in no way correlates to a want for actual homophobia. People often assume kinks are reflective of genuine beliefs of the person, but it's usually very different to the person's beliefs, hence why it's a kink and not just being homophobic
u/[deleted]126 jul 2026, 0:22
[removed]
u/barrorg4426 jul 2026, 0:32
It’s just masochism.
- u/whathesigma1226 jul 2026, 0:33
  What’s that?
  - u/NeriTina726 jul 2026, 6:19
  - u/tvtango126 jul 2026, 23:55
- u/Equal-Exercise3103-426 jul 2026, 13:12
  Not really.
- u/ampmz1926 jul 2026, 15:21
  Not quite, it’s a humiliation kink. Not uncommon in queer kinky folk.
  - u/barrorg1126 jul 2026, 15:26
u/Creativered41526 jul 2026, 0:33
Humans are weird. When somwthing stressful or traumatic happens, sometimes our brains go "this can't hurt me if I associate it with pleasure". That's why things like spanking kink, misgendering kink, and even rape kink exist. (Although thats not the ONLY reason some people have those kinks. Sometimes people just have them)
u/wvsfezter2026 jul 2026, 1:51
This is just an extension of a degredation kink. Harmless if engaged in consentualy but be careful about letting it affect your self esteem or perception
u/L_edgelord526 jul 2026, 12:40
It's not that weird. Just make sure that if you're gonna explore that you do it with a safe person who isn't actually homophobic
u/Applejackington126 jul 2026, 12:46
🫦
u/Equal-Exercise3103026 jul 2026, 13:10
Yeah, it’s weird. Normal/Common just means it’s mirrored by others - meaning other people experience this It’s not abnormal/uncommon that people might be affected by homophobia in an homophobic world. You shouldn’t ask yourself this, you should ask yourself if it’s Sane/Safe/Consensuale (and the response is that it’s not the first one, and sometimes it’s not even the second one - outside of the broader non-vanilla world.. it’s not even the third). You can experience a transgressive trance by collecting and retaking (and queering) the things/aspects that have been labeled “toxic masculine” Such as: wresting someone against his (assumed) \[explicit\] consent (that’s why in the kink world you don’t take no as an answer because no can mean “push it further” under the right circumstances - and it’s the reason why you need to establish a safe-world with him - it’s basically a world that.. after uttered “everything stops” and there’s either a conversation or a delay in play. Yeah it can be a turn off but based on SSC, that’s for the best. Not having a safe word exposes you to abuse \[or to stop the play anytime something feels slightly off\]) The queering part is of utmost importance because it unties the fun character of aggressive unbound masculinity from the harmful Heterosexist/Homophobic socio-political reality that the social world invests in masculinizing and emasculating. You can be jumped on, pushed, slapped, spat on, burped and even farted on - you can be trample and walked on, made to kiss his feet and be called daddy’s little whore. This is socially prescribed as well as routinely/individually negotiated. This is part of Gay Male BDSM & D/s Degradation/Praising play. But to engage in such discussions and plays in a safe and sane way you need to deconstruct and untie Queerphobia and Racism/Ageism/Sex-Negativity etc. from it. Good luck and have fun.
u/CrossedRoses226 jul 2026, 20:03
I haven't heart of it before, but it sounds like a great way to make homophobes extremely uncomfortable lmao
- u/whathesigma1126 jul 2026, 21:49
  Good idea 😂
u/KnotOnLeash126 jul 2026, 21:49
Totally healthy
u/twentyyearsofclean127 jul 2026, 8:02
Maybe a bit uncommon, but not weird — the human brain does stuff like that all the time. It’s basically like the adult version of play therapy, where your mind wants to act out unsafe scenarios in safe circumstances. It doesn’t mean you approve of it or actually want it to happen to you or others, just that your mind is acting things out to make sense of them (or using exaggerated metaphors to gain feelings like control or freedom). Same way we like to playact fear by watching movies. I don’t have a homophobia kink, but I do have a misogyny kink so I get that kind of delicate balance between being oppressed and finding pleasure in the fantasy of your own oppression. You can want things said and done to you in fantasy that you know are harmful in real life, and that’s okay! Although I will warn you before diving too deep into the world of your-own-discrimination-based kink: it makes the real thing seem kind of ridiculous. Every time I see someone say shit like “women belong in the kitchen” and actually mean it, it feels like someone whose earnest political beliefs are like…”bad boys get spankings”. Like it feels very silly to watch people to argue with all seriousness for things you’ve jerked it to. But aside from that, go be free! Most of the communities surrounding these kind of kinks are really good at keeping out actual harm and tend to be pretty explicit on keeping the phobias strictly fictional, so they’re safe places to be if you can find one you’re interested in. Tl;dr — you don’t have to be ashamed, others are definitely into the same thing and it’s a normal psychological phenomenon
u/cry_bay_b129 jul 2026, 22:14
As a woman, I know LOTS of women who in sexual scenarios and with the right person get off on being degraded. Dirty slut, whore, etc. It's pretty common.