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r/italianlearning · u/sagitta4231 jul 2026, 21:11

The "non devi" trap for "you don't have to"

In Italian, "non devi farlo" can mean both "you shouldn't / must not do it" or "you don't have to do it", which are almost opposite in meaning.

I already have accidentally insulted a colleague by forgetting the first meaning. Word for word it's devi = have to, non devi = don't have to, but oh boy.

The colleague in question is HR. She was not clear on my plan for the working day, so she asked "Allora ti metto un permesso di mezz'ora?" to which I replied "No no, non ho richiesto un permesso. Allora non devi chiederlo se non c'è una richiesta".

In my mind it was "you don't have to ask". My logic: save your time and effort, the request is the source of information, and if I forget to do one, you don't need to do the extra work of reminding me, that would be on me to handle since it's my responsibility.

You can of course imagine that if you read it as "You shouldn't ask"... She was rightfully indignant, and said that she may ask what and when she finds fit about leaves (permessi), whether there is a request or not, since it's her job. Yeah she's absolutely right.

I was horrified, and tried to explain best I could that it's a language fuckup on my side. My attemps were something like "non devi sentirti obbligata a chiedere" or "puoi chiedere ma non devi", if I recall correctly. It did not seem to convince her, so hoping my boss who speaks some English would understand, I said it's the "you don't have to" not "you must not". He went "Aah!" and gave a nod with one of those slow approving blinks. Nice, but then he didn't comment on that in Italian...

So I'm pretty sure I will just have to live with it, knowing my HR manager thought I was telling her to never ask me about my leaves...

I don't want this to happen again though. What phrase would work better?

I found "Non c'è bisogno chiedere", "Non è necessario", "Non serve", or "Non preoccuparti". None of these sound better to me, especially the last one (or maybe I'm being overly cautious now)

Thanks!

P.S. Putting this in writing I also realized that apart from that I was too short and robotic - "So you don't have to ask" is a bit too harsh and rude also in English if not made REALLY clear with intonation, gestures etc. So maybe I need to look for a more nuanced phrasing to begin with.

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Comentarios

u/Raven_Miyazaki931 jul 2026, 21:26
That’s such an understandable mistake. 😅 Non devi is a bit of a trap because “you don’t have to” and “you mustn’t” are very different messages, especially when you’re talking to HR. I think your P.S. nails it, though. The safest option is probably something like “Non c’è bisogno che tu me lo chieda; se dimentico la richiesta, è responsabilità mia.” That makes it clear you’re trying to save her the trouble, not telling her she isn’t allowed to ask. I’d probably retire non devi from sensitive workplace conversations after that one. 😂 At least your boss’s “Aah!” suggests he immediately understood how the misunderstanding happened.
u/Esausta3931 jul 2026, 21:57
"non c'è bisogno" is perfectly appropriate for these cases. In fact, I'd argue that "non devi" meaning "there is no need for you to" is used very sparingly, people just mostly go with "non c'è bisogno".
- u/keijodputt1031 jul 2026, 23:53
  "non c'è bisogno" = "you needn't" An English teacher from my childhood once told me the alternative "You needn't bother" instad of "There's no need to" and shook my world.
u/Outside-Factor5425431 jul 2026, 22:44
You should avoid "Non dovere" in formal and/or important contexts. I myself use "dovere non + infinitive" ( for ex. "devi non arrivare tardi") for "must not", even knowing if it's ungrammatical (tho it works perfectly), and "non è necessario" for "not having to"
u/ImparandoSempre11 ago 2026, 5:14
This was a useful conversation about how to clarify the distinction between "you don't have to" and "you mustn't" when you are the person speaking speaking. But given the possibility of ambiguity, what is a safe way to interpret "non devi" when reading something written when the context does not explain it?
- u/Realistic_Clock_269911 ago 2026, 6:01
  Translated is "You must not" that's the safest when there's no context
u/Realistic_Clock_269911 ago 2026, 6:03
But almost always after "Non devi" there's another verb. "Non devi correre" is "You must not run" "Non devi mangiare ora" is "You must not eat now"
u/GordianBalloonKnot21 ago 2026, 6:11
Natives... is there some way that "pure" works its way in here to make the statement lighter?
- u/Idraulica200011 ago 2026, 9:46
  Native here. The “Non c’è bisogno di + verbo infinito” construct is the more appropriate in this context. A little bit of cultural tweak: in a formal work environment and between peers telling SO else what to do or not to do may result rude. I’d add some explanations about the reason behind.
  - u/keijodputt11 ago 2026, 10:041 respuesta
u/GordianBalloonKnot11 ago 2026, 6:12
Interesting, because "should" in the positive typically looks like "dovr- + infinitive"
u/grufolo11 ago 2026, 8:57
As a native speaker I am a little confused here.... About your confusion How do shouldn't and mustn't have opposite meanings? If you don't want someone to do something in an imperative form, you can use "devi" otherwise if you only mean there's no need to do something, just say so "non c'è bisogno - non è necessario" Also, consider that "devi" is often dispensable (non devi chiederlo --> non chiederlo)
- u/bansidhecry11 ago 2026, 10:46
  They are not opposite in meaning. They are slightly different however. Mustn’t gives a sense of absolutely not doing something. Shouldn’t gives a sense of, not doing it but you can…. You mustn’t go out! You cannot go out! You shouldn’t go out. I advise strongly you do not go out.
- u/sagitta4211 ago 2026, 12:41
  "shouldn't / mustn't" is almost opposite to "don't have to" because they meant "you have to not" Or am I missing something? (I'm also not a native English speaker, I don't want any more language mines ahah)
u/anasfkhan8111 ago 2026, 9:21
sorry but "you shouldn't do it" would be translated with the conditional here right: "non dovresti farlo"?
u/_crisz11 ago 2026, 9:32
I think "non devi" is fine, even if slightly ambiguous, but with the right voice tone is ok and it's used. "Non devi chiederlo" is unambiguous, you are telling a person to not ask. So "non devi" + verb should always be avoided unless you're giving an order. If you don't wanna mind about these nuances, as other people advised, you can just use "non c'è bisogno"
u/spicynicho11 ago 2026, 12:38
Would the imperative syntax be "non dovere" ?