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r/AskMen · u/thembones2181 août 2026, 16:58

Why play games and not be direct?

It may be obvious in hindsight sight but going through it right now, I just dont get it?! Not just men but women too why cant people be direct? Why play games does it really feel good to hurt people?

Short version is talked to the guy for several months. Contact became less overtime which is fine, we initially talked about hooking up but became more a pen pal thing, hes cool and we have common interest.

Eventually he sent me a snap with a chick, when I playfully called it out he got a bit defensive, said she was his room mate and he was not attracted to her. A little frustrated I stepped away, then a few weeks later reached out and he accepted my friend request on socials and mostly taken several hours to reply and kept it dry, wirh a hi there. which wasn't normal for us. Here I am feeling a little guilty because I been acting a little unstable and kind of a hot and cold. There was no indication of a relationship on his profile, then I saw him tagged in a photo with his "roomate" and it suggested more. If that were the case why cant some people just say hey im in a relationship now respect it or f'off! Why play these games? The answer may be obvious but my egos a little hurt! And he was a friend? 😅

Commentaires

u/AutoModerator11 août 2026, 16:58
Here's an original copy of /u/thembones218's post (if available):

It may be obvious in hindsight sight but going through it right now, I just dont get it?! Not just men but women too why cant people be direct? Why play games does it really feel good to hurt people?

Short version is talked to the guy for several months. Contact became less overtime which is fine, we initially talked about hooking up but became more a pen pal thing, hes cool and we have common interest.

Eventually he sent me a snap with a chick, when I playfully called it out he got a bit defensive, said she was his room mate and he was not attracted to her. A little frustrated I stepped away, then a few weeks later reached out and he accepted my friend request on socials and mostly taken several hours to reply and kept it dry, wirh a hi there. which wasn't normal for us. Here I am feeling a little guilty because I been acting a little unstable and kind of a hot and cold. There was no indication of a relationship on his profile, then I saw him tagged in a photo with his "roomate" and it suggested more. If that were the case why cant some people just say hey im in a relationship now respect it or f'off! Why play these games? The answer may be obvious but my egos a little hurt! And he was a friend? 😅

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u/Expensive_Magician9711 août 2026, 17:01
66M I’m from a completely different era, long before computers and social media. I can share with you my perspective for whatever that’s worth. I think that if you have grown up in the last 25 years, and have known nothing except electronic communication, then you have effectively grown-up learning how to play games. Because that is what happens when you communicate with someone electronically. You are communicating with a representation of that other person, and that is simply a display of electrons on your computer monitor or your smart phone screen. You are not sitting across the table from them, looking into their eyes, getting a sense of who they are as a human human being, and feeling whether the two of you have any sort of connection on other than a very superficial level. Please let me know if that makes sense to you, thank you.
u/DirtyCasper1711 août 2026, 17:02
Immaturity.
u/AskMen-ModTeam11 août 2026, 17:03
Rule 4: Do not make posts trying to figure out a specific person's actions, behavior, or thinking. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT HE/SHE/THEY ARE THINKING. ASK THEM!