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r/AskUK · u/hedonism_bot_30121 août 2026, 17:11

Picture the scenario: you're cooking a microwave lasagne, how many times do you pierce the film?

Do you just do one? Two slits? Do you treat it like it crossed you in the prison yard?

183

Commentaires

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u/edgesr11 août 2026, 17:13
I go mad. Probably 10
- u/Repulsive-Note-11211 août 2026, 17:25
  Things a psycho says ;)
u/VOODOO28511 août 2026, 17:13
I try for as few as possible. Usually one small slice. I think the pressure helps cook it better. Not just lasagne. Everything.
u/timemarcheson10311 août 2026, 17:13
The latter. No holding back
u/liamsorsby11 août 2026, 17:13
Until the fork poping through stops being satisfying. There's not normally much plastic left to be honest.
- u/Jojo616711 août 2026, 17:21
  This is the one!
u/Princes_Slayer11 août 2026, 17:13
I don’t. I just pull up each corner slightly to release steam when cooking
- u/ddmf11 août 2026, 17:16
  I'm the same, I have sound sensitivity I will not put anyone in the vicinity through that pain.
- u/Affectionate-Guru11 août 2026, 17:18
  This is the way.
u/indigomm11 août 2026, 17:13
I microwave everything. But not lasagne. Lasagne needs to go in the oven.
- u/TapeDeckSlick11 août 2026, 17:27
  Gimmie dat crispy top
u/Familiar_Swan_66211 août 2026, 17:13
5 or 6, one in each corner and either one in the middle or one on either side of the long edge
u/Sm0keytrip0d11 août 2026, 17:13
I normally stab until someone else within earshot tells me I've stabbed it enough.
u/space_coyote_8611 août 2026, 17:14
About 16-20. By stabbing it with a fork 4-5 times.
- u/ResplendentBear11 août 2026, 17:17
  Check out this guy with his 5-pronged fork.
u/TeamOfPups11 août 2026, 17:14
Three sharp stabs with a pointy knife.
u/ughhhghghh11 août 2026, 17:14
I just pull one of the corners back.
u/Wise-Bother994211 août 2026, 17:14
It's getting shanked like I'm a convict in The Longest Yard.
u/iBonsaiBob11 août 2026, 17:14
Depends on my current level of rage
u/helpnxt11 août 2026, 17:15
3-5
u/Aggravating_Cook378111 août 2026, 17:15
two stabs if Im calm, 40ish if Im annoyed
u/Tall-Nectarine-598211 août 2026, 17:15
To the point I’m just bursting large holes in the plastic.
u/True-Abalone-338011 août 2026, 17:15
If this is training for AI, I cover the microwave pot with foil and let the sparks heat the meal. If it's real, I peel open a corner.
- u/Unhappy-Meal-164611 août 2026, 17:21
  Why peel rather than pierce?
u/Infinite_Beginning9811 août 2026, 17:15
Wouldn’t eat a microwave lasagne in the first place as I value my heath.
- u/GritstoneGhost11 août 2026, 17:20
  I’m all for avoiding UPFs but one isn’t going to hurt you, well unless you spill it on yourself
u/concretepigeon11 août 2026, 17:15
For lasagne you should really remove the whole film lid. It’s the top layer stops it exploding Al over and you’ll get it a bit more crispy. (Doing it in the oven is obviously better but you’ll at least get a better outcome in the microwave this way.)
u/Lassitude100111 août 2026, 17:16
1-2. I want the steam to stay inside, but have a way out to not blow up.
u/HeartyBeast11 août 2026, 17:17
Fork in twice
u/extranjeroQ11 août 2026, 17:17
Three stabs with a fork. No more and no less.
u/EuphoricCover844911 août 2026, 17:17
12 in lasagne. 9 in smaller items.
u/HowUtterlyGhastly11 août 2026, 17:17
One in the head, two in the chest.
u/moppykitty11 août 2026, 17:18
Until my anger dissipates
u/AlwaysEatingPancakes11 août 2026, 17:18
About 10
u/DivePotato11 août 2026, 17:18
5 like dice
u/BobDude6511 août 2026, 17:19
I just pull the film off half way and lay it back down
- u/januarynights11 août 2026, 17:25
  I do this as well, after getting tiny sauce dots on my clothes one too many times.
u/JeffSergeant11 août 2026, 17:19
1 small one, just enough to stop it exploding, but not so many that it lets the steam out.
u/PKblaze11 août 2026, 17:19
Shiv it like I'm Ghostface.
u/GuiltyCredit11 août 2026, 17:19
Until my rage subsides.
u/Difficult-Egg-500111 août 2026, 17:19
Once with a fork, as centrally as I can get it.
u/Fit_Cartographer_54411 août 2026, 17:19
When reading packaging when I was a kid it said pierce 'several' times. Because I was a kid I thought 'several' was the name for seven. So I, still to this day, pierce seven times
u/KelpFox0511 août 2026, 17:19
Six times with a fork, in two 'layers' of three.
u/Orsenfelt11 août 2026, 17:19
Like the shower scene from Psycho
- u/TheSJDRising11 août 2026, 17:28
  Came here to say this.
u/PuzzleheadedBag484711 août 2026, 17:19
That has never happened in my world.
u/Baby822711 août 2026, 17:19
I open the corner of the plastic.
- u/TheSJDRising11 août 2026, 17:27
  Herecy
u/odobIDDQD11 août 2026, 17:20
Take the fork, stab it till it’s dead.
u/Jimmy_Severe11 août 2026, 17:20
I dont have a microwave. So.. zero times.
- u/TaffWaffler11 août 2026, 17:22
  Glad you’re here
- u/eastkent11 août 2026, 17:25
  But if you did?
  - u/Jimmy_Severe11 août 2026, 17:29
u/User-196711 août 2026, 17:20
I pierce it 8 times
- u/MrStellaMontis11 août 2026, 17:23
  Real
- u/NeilPatrickWarburton11 août 2026, 17:27
  Imagined doing it before opening the thread. Yep - 8.
u/Deep_Banana_652111 août 2026, 17:20
I heat a pan and add minced beef and cook it until it's all into little bits, then I add a tin of chopped tomato, a few tablespoons of tomato puree, a beef stock cube, about half a pint of water and some pepper. Dried garlic and paprika if I have it, but its ok if not. then let that simmer for about 20 mins at a medium heat. I take a different saucepan and heat up 100g of butter until it's melted, then whisk in 100g of flour and cook it for a few seconds before slowly dribbling in 1ltr of milk, literally a splash at a time, whisking constantly so it doesn't go lumpy. Once all the milk is mixed in, take it off the heat and let it chill. Grate cheese if needed and turn your oven onto 190'c. The lasagna I made 2 days ago, the layers went: Sauce Pasta Bechamel Sauce pasta Bechamel cheese Pasta Sauce Bechamel Pasta Sauce Bechamel Pasta Bechamel Cheese Then if the ingrediets are hot, 10-15 mins, if they're cold, 30-40 mins or until you can poke it and the pasta isn't raw and the top cheese is all golden. It's been a few days and the Mrs is still telling me how good it was.
u/Flashy-Nectarine167511 août 2026, 17:20
Best to just chuck it in the bin.
u/notthedoodaa11 août 2026, 17:21
I reckon 8
u/Wishmaster89111 août 2026, 17:21
I imagine im a drummer in a death metal band and go nuts
u/Pircster3811 août 2026, 17:21
Lacerate it severely.
u/imaragingtransfemlez11 août 2026, 17:21
6; 2 each top and bottom on the left side, down the middle and on the right side
u/BlokeyBlokeBloke11 août 2026, 17:21
Serial killers watching me tell me to calm the fuck down with the stabbing.
u/snakeoildriller11 août 2026, 17:21
I generally go at it like Michael Myers in Halloween - there'll be no exploding horse meat in *my* oven!
u/Similar_Pitch_270311 août 2026, 17:21
I hack at it like I’m Norman bates dressed as his mum, offing that woman through the shower curtain
u/Green_Eyed_Slayer11 août 2026, 17:22
Depends on my mood; anything from a few to a massacre
u/Dr_Mijory_Marjorie11 août 2026, 17:22
All four corners with a fork. I spare the middle. I pretend like I understand things by believing the edges cook quicker, thus creating a sheltered dome of heat for the centre.
u/Flimsy-Detective764311 août 2026, 17:22
I tear off the film leaving it attached at the bottom and drape it back across. Means I'm not peeling slivers of roasting hot film at the end
u/Zubi_Q11 août 2026, 17:22
Like 10 times
u/Repulsive-Year89611 août 2026, 17:23
We need to discuss the number of prongs on the fork and the gauge of them. As well as the size of the tray, water content of the food, wattage of microwave and cooking time as well as cooking intervals before we can give a serious answer
u/TaffWaffler11 août 2026, 17:23
I approach it like I’m trying to avenge my family
u/Far_Bad_53111 août 2026, 17:23
Me … about six, my late MiL … about 28 times!!! I actually counted the sounds once 🤦🏼‍♀️
u/R3ddit30011 août 2026, 17:23
Ferociously. There is more hole than film. And here's 10 points to everyone acting like they're too good for microwave lasagna.
u/MrsPickleMouse11 août 2026, 17:24
Just don’t have a microwave lasagna. Problem solved.
u/Mean-Obligation-376711 août 2026, 17:24
A microwave lasagna? Depravity
u/PuzzleheadedCarob92111 août 2026, 17:24
I’m like Nicky Santoro stabbing with a pen when that wise guy gets fresh with Rothstein in Casino.
u/ComicsCodeMadeMeGay11 août 2026, 17:24
If you use a fork you quadruple your money
u/TWLemonadeBanana11 août 2026, 17:24
I don't, instead I peel the plastic back at all four corners and pray.
u/Repulsive-Note-11211 août 2026, 17:24
Three
u/unclelumbago111 août 2026, 17:24
Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop....... pop.
u/dietdoug11 août 2026, 17:24
I dint ear microwave food.
u/mudual11 août 2026, 17:25
I just peel the corners, so it makes it easier to remove when hot.
u/eastkent11 août 2026, 17:25
I went for one stab once and it wasn't enough. The steam couldn't escape quickly enough and chaos ensued. I learned my lesson well and now I stab three times.
u/blodblodblod11 août 2026, 17:25
I sing the Psycho music as I do it, so however many that is.
u/lostglamour11 août 2026, 17:25
And dirty a knife? Nah, I peel it almost off then put it back down.
u/Key-Original-22511 août 2026, 17:26
Once with a cocktail stick/skewer
u/mysweetplums11 août 2026, 17:26
Depends on how pissed off I am
u/audigex11 août 2026, 17:26
Stab the fuck out of it, as per official procedure
u/Helzibob11 août 2026, 17:26
10 or 12 I’d say but prefer it in the oven to go a little crispy on top.
u/AltruisticBread694011 août 2026, 17:27
I peel the corner slightly and stick it on
u/HistorianLost11 août 2026, 17:27
I attack it like it said something about my mother with a fork.
u/Mickleborough11 août 2026, 17:27
Peel a bit off each corner or go all Murder on the Orient Express, depending on mood.
u/brill0pads11 août 2026, 17:28
A good 10 - 20. Helps save time having to cut it up when it's heated so maximum efficiency really
u/Pleasant_Cap879111 août 2026, 17:28
3 - it’s hard enough work ‘cooking’ it as it is.
u/FewAnybody273911 août 2026, 17:29
None. Food cooks better under pressure, and the film releases itself when it needs to.
u/Weird-Category-350311 août 2026, 17:29
Several
u/Only_Appeal_540311 août 2026, 17:29
I go full Cesar on that thing 🔪 In my mind it's cooking it better
u/townshatfire11 août 2026, 17:29
Chuck the so-called lasagne and microwave in the bin and start again. A microwave has utterly no place in modern society. It didn't have a place in past society, and it won't have one in future. They just make everything come out like a piece of rubber shit.