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r/nottheonion · u/irishgoodbyesss1 août 2026, 13:26

Giants suspend Harrison Bader's pay after he reportedly crashed scooter into fire truck

112

Commentaires

u/Diversityence_711 août 2026, 13:31
Harrison Bader is the only man on Earth with enough unearned confidence to look at a 40-ton, bright red emergency vehicle with sirens blaring and flashing lights and think: 'I can beat that to the spot'
- u/PeachyStarlighty11 août 2026, 13:36
  I think Harrison Bader sees that siren and thinks, "Challenge accepted," while the rest of us are like, "Nah man, I’m just gonna step aside and let the professionals handle it!"
- u/[deleted]11 août 2026, 13:59
  [removed]
  - u/AutoModerator11 août 2026, 13:59
- u/BadAtExisting11 août 2026, 14:02
  On a scooter lmao
  - u/wesman21211 août 2026, 14:32
- u/yourethegoodthings11 août 2026, 14:06
  https://youtu.be/sHsdxVlzM1E Easily one of my favourite local-to-me dashcam videos.
  - u/davidbernhardt11 août 2026, 14:14
- u/ichabod0111 août 2026, 14:28
  And yet he did not beat the parked fire truck to the spot.
u/MyUsernameIsAwful11 août 2026, 13:35
Hang on, it says he had an injured foot, and in fact re-injured that same foot in this incident. Was it a mobility scooter? Because that’s even funnier.
- u/hypespud11 août 2026, 13:50
  If so, I can't tell if being drunk or not being drunk would be funnier lol
- u/aimenil11 août 2026, 13:56
  His previous injury to that foot was just plantar fasciitis, which doesn’t require a mobility scooter. Not that a top athlete would use one, anyway.
  - u/MyUsernameIsAwful11 août 2026, 13:58
- u/AlternativeResort47711 août 2026, 14:54
  It was like a bird scooter. There’s video of him riding around earlier in the day
u/PeachyStarlighty11 août 2026, 13:35
Imagine getting suspended for crashing your scooter into a fire truck talk about a fiery way to get benched!
- u/sneakyplanner11 août 2026, 20:19
  Beep boop beep boop
u/Diversityence_711 août 2026, 13:38
Harrison Bader is the only man on Earth with enough unearned confidence to look at a 40-ton, bright red emergency vehicle with sirens blaring and flashing lights and think: 'I can beat that to the spot'
u/Malt12911 août 2026, 13:40
There's a couple of popular youtube videos where people have crashed their motorbike into a fire truck because they didn't know how to counter-steer. That's all I can think of here.
- u/obligatory-purgatory11 août 2026, 13:57
  Fire trucks specifically? That would be kinda funny and weird. Thanks for teaching me something new today. I looked it up and it looks complicated. I wonder if you were a mad bmx biker as a child if that helps.
  - u/DonnyGetTheLudes11 août 2026, 14:18
u/SoupSpelunker11 août 2026, 13:43
*because he was riding a scooter.
u/Raider0311 août 2026, 14:09
This is the sort of headline you expect to start with the words Florida Man.
- u/slothwithakeyboard101 août 2026, 15:49
  He was also suspended at UF for... drunkenly crashing his scooter. Can't make this stuff up
  - u/futureformerteacher11 août 2026, 15:58
  - u/BigBlueNY21 août 2026, 17:13
u/Michael__Pemulis11 août 2026, 14:34
Fun fact, his cousin is in Vampire Weekend.
u/[deleted]11 août 2026, 14:37
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u/Malvania11 août 2026, 15:13
At 2am. Perhaps time to question his professional judgment if he's out at 2am while injured and can't miss a fire truck
- u/--suburb--21 août 2026, 16:45
  A block or two from basically the epicenter of young grown man with money to burn douchey bars in SF marina. Where he was spotted drinking minutes earlier. Man \*was\* making $10M a year and all he had to do was not fuck it up. He fucked it up. I loved that guy when he was on the yankees…
u/powatwain11 août 2026, 15:52
“ In 2014, while attending the University of Florida, MLB outfielder Harrison Bader was involved in a notable motorized scooter crash. He was suspended for 19 games after colliding with a parked vehicle while under the influence “

—-

You can take the man out of Florida, but you can’t take the Florida out of the man
u/manthello11 août 2026, 19:08
Next time they write Bible verses on their hats, they should do Acts 2:15.