Prove he's not Jesus
Do his hands whistle when he sticks them out the car window? = Not Jebus.
Yeah someone give him a bottle of water and see what he can do first.
Check his Driver's License and make sure it's Real ID. It's the only way to be sure.
*You gotta have faith.* \- George Michaels
Exactly. Like Jesus would come back to earth with clothes...come on. Think about it.
Exactly. Jesus wouldn't know how to drive a car, no wonder he crashed.
That will be the last time they ask Jesus to take the wheel.
🤣
That headline somehow manages to get more unhinged with every word.
Detroit???!!
I mean, he might be, I don't think ancient prophets got driving lessons.
Brings me back to my ER days
I don't think Jesus ever made it to the ER
"I'm back bitches!" -Jesus-
Strong "Cleansing of the Temple" vibes. Hopefully he does not stop here.
I hope it's revenge this time.
Well let's hear him out
should have ran in and started flipping tables to really sell it
"He seems very cross with us about something."
"Bring me the money lenders!"
Probably was him how would they know?
I'd assume Jesus was circumcised, so they could check on that.
I mean, he might be, I don't think ancient prophets got driving lessons.
Well, the Bible did say that he came of his own Accord
It's the razed erection.
So the Rapture has begun?
A lot less grand start than I was told to expect...
HE HAS RETURNED
Trump?! 😂
Jesus has answered our Prayers finally (Joke) .
Now there's a sentence I did not expect to read today, but I could see where he would've been coming from if he was Jesus. Like, he's probably not, but I cannot rule out the possibility that Jesus would have been aggravated enough with modern Christianity to at least start flipping tables.
"Two men say they're Jesus. One of 'em must be wrong." — Dire Straits, "Industrial Disease"
Leeeroy Jesus!
He's not nude he's wearing a car
“And lo, his returneth shall be Harolded by a sea of green, and an orange creature.” - Book of McConnell chapter 86:47 Probably
Are we sure this wasn't Florida? Sounds like a Florida story
I believe this one.
My upstairs tenant woke me up one night because there were cops outside. A guy had ripped the antenna of my Lincoln and was fencing with the cops claiming to be Jesus. This guy gets around.
Should have claimed to be the Black Knight.
let's hear him out. The lord works in mysterious ways.
'Claims to be'. Everyone is so cynical nowadays.
Nude man claiming to be Jesus crashes car into Detroit church
It's a no-brainer
Jesus once mentioned "I'll be back", the next logical sequence of events is to crash a car into the premises...
*\**looks down*\** Oh… he is risen
He is risen!
Everyone is nude, under their clothes. Just saying.
He has driven
Jesus took the wheel.
Sir. We checked the car. It had no gas. Yes, Sergeant. He had the power of Christ to propel him.
Classic Jesus
He’s a sheep in search of his shepherd.
Honestly, I am convinced. Jesus wouldn't know how to drive a car. If we are using Terminator logic, Jesus would be naked when he comes back. Check mate atheists.
Jesus take the wheel
If he started whipping them, he may actually have been Jesus.
So it is written. So shall it be.
Jesus vs Temple part 2
No that's jesus
At least he was wearing a car
Michigan creeping on Floridas aura
Poor guy. He drove all the way up from Florida just to crash into a church?
Typical jesus thing to do
"Sorry I'm late, I was held up on Mount Calvary."
But what was Jesus driving?
Was it the Honda Accord he didn't speak of?
Jesus finally returned? But why Detroit church? I thought for sure that he would go to DC first 🤔 😅 😂 🤣.
So, what is Jesus or not? The Jesus I know would totally do that.
He has driven.
I don't think this what the Bible meant when it talked about his second coming.
Always religious people. The most mentally unstable people on the planet
Coffin Flops: The Resurrection.
Sounds like something jesus would do.
The real Jesus never took a car driving lesson in his life. Checks out.
We've all been there. Let him that is without sin cast the first stone.
LOL; the radio station call-letters.
Lots of people having mental health episodes get naked. Not sure why. But this guy needs some psychiatric intervention
[removed]
Jesus took the wheel.
Then it's 'his house'.. case dismissed.
Finally! Screaming Blue Messiahs Jesus Chrysler Drives a Dodge real life performance
He’s ready for the second coming!
We’ve all done it.
2026 is wearing EVERYONE down
[removed]
not the least believable biblical story, tbh