This time of the year truly is a wasteland in the sports world.
Baseball babyyyyy
It's not the sports world's fault you don't follow anything that runs in the summer.
Only two types of news updates at this point of the offseason: “Player says he feels great this season, lifted weights today” “Player tears knee clean off in practice rep, expected out until 2046 season”
It’s peak NASCAR season
Heard
Heard \*Chef
People were worried about Chipotle's lettuce giving them explosive diarrhea. Jokes on them, Chipotle has been giving me explosive diarrhea for years.
relatable, but taco bell. Funny I never get sick when I get Mexican food from actual Mexican places
I have but then that place closed down less than a week after getting sick
I wonder if people realize Taco Bell does not intuitively cause stomach/bowel issues Men cite this but yall probably aren't even eating fiber or have digestive issues you aren't even aware of lol
Is there a "Big Shit" tag so that these are the only updates I get?
Just search for “Browns” it doubles as news about diarrhea and the team as they’re pretty much equivalent
Lamar is also interested.
shitty post?
Chipotle PR Department: what he say fuck me for?
To be fair, I've had food poisoning twice in my life and both times it came from Chipotle.
Who eats Chipotle? This is literally every story I ever heard from this place.
I mean. *gestures broadly at their resume*
He got the bad lettuce
N U M B E R 1 5
I had a grinder with lettuce yesterday and I am in a state of fear
Nah there is a reason for the need of Chipotlaway
RIP the salad industry in 2026
He wants a good burrito but he needs the bad lettuce
Going through the same thing right now, just out of the hospital yesterday. Lost over 20 pounds. No sleep, food, water for days. Absolutely fuckung miserable. Don't take your health for granted people.
And yet my family keeps acting like I’m crazy when I try to be careful avoiding the parasite.
Gotta be the same Chipotle that got AJ Brown when he was in Nashville. I’m willing to bet it’s the one in Metrocenter. Everyone in my office refuses to go there anymore.
It’s the one off Rosa Parks. I guarantee it. I also fell victim to a case of the Rosa Poops Chipotle and it was a BRUTAL 3 days.
Yeah, the practice facility is right there, it must be that one.
Cyclosporiasis, perhaps? I've heard from more than one source that cilantro may be one of the culprits.
Taylor farms supplies their lettuce so
Yeah, what else
Nah, Cyclopsoriasis doesn’t give you explosive diarrhea. It’s concussive. Deal with it.
He definitely got the diarrhea disease
I get that I had chipotle on two occasions like ten years ago a few months apart and both times it nuked my stomach Haven’t had it since
Sorry but that sounds like Taco Bell....
It always bothers me when people get lettuce at chipotle. Glad there are consequences for such terrible food decisions.
Why bother with GLP-1 medications when you can just buy a meal at Taco Bell or Chipotle and puke and shit out 15 lbs?
Had a family friend get giardia and she lost 40 lbs before doctors figured out what the hell it was. And she wasn’t a big woman before
Nah. Titans WRs gotta stop eating at Chipotle. First AJ now Ridley https://titanswire.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/titans/2022/04/26/2022-nfl-draft-prospects-a-j-brown-chipotle/80614788007/
Relatable. I don't think ive ever had a Chipotle meal that didn't make me sick.
Football is so back
Peak reporting
The level of "I used a bunch of drugs to do shit" coverage here is almost admirable.
Another Southpark prediction
I've been there, factory cafeteria nachos took me out for weeks. I feel for him
E. Coli is back on the menu at Chipotle, for a limited time only*
limited time meaning always
Idk how people constantly get the chipotle lettuce when it’s constantly contaminated and gets people sick. I swear the last 15 years it’s been getting a lot of people sick like clockwork with E. coli and now this new explosive diarrhea bug. I go to chipotle a lot (40k points) and I’ve never gotten sick from them because I avoid the lettuce.
\[Wyatt\] Kelvin Benjamin said he put on 15 pounds with a grazing session, and has put more back on. Had a tough meal at the buffet line, he said.
Unpopular take…, Chipotle sucks!
Chipotle is the most overrated restaurant of all time
Average Chipotle meal:
He just like me fr (I’m on the toilet post chipotle rn)
Lettuce pray
went cyclo mode
That's why I'm a Pancheros guy
Thats not a stomach bug. That's just Chipotle.
Been there, Ridley, been there.
That's what he gets for going to Chipotle instead of Qdoba
That’s why you go to Qdoba
Taylor Farm strikes again
"This administration is putting us out of a job." - writers at the Onion.
I feel like Chipotle never really bounced back from the e.coli outbreak like a decade ago
Worth the risk imo
Chipotle is Russian Roulette. Play long enough and you always lose.
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I got sick from eating outback steakhouse twice, the only two times I ever ate there. Once when I was like 12 years old in Florida.. and again when I was like 25, in Alabama.
Insane he’s getting the lettuce at chipotle, thought he learned not to gamble
...*slow clap*...
Patient zero for cyclosporiasis