Am I crazy for not feeling comfortable leaving my baby with my mother-in-law after she kissed my baby, even though we asked her not to—four separate times? My husband and I are planning to go to the movies, and I told him I’d rather have my mom watch our baby. She lives about 30 minutes away, while my mother-in-law lives only 2 minutes away, but that isn’t the issue for me. The reason I don’t feel comfortable is because my mother-in-law repeatedly ignored a boundary we clearly set. We asked her not to kiss the baby, and she continued to do it anyway. That makes it hard for me to fully trust that she’ll respect other boundaries when we’re not there. I told my husband that I do want to be able to trust her, but I need time. I’d feel much more comfortable seeing her interact with our baby while we’re present a few more times before leaving him alone with her. Am I being dramatic, or is it reasonable to want someone to consistently respect our parenting decisions before trusting them to babysit?
Keep your peace, your husband should be holding his ground with you and being the point person on this. He should not be saying “my wife doesn’t like this” but “we don’t like this”. He should be holding the boundary with you and if not it needs a conversation to get back on the “same team” page.
Even if he’s not on the same team, at least in front of his mom he needs to act like it and present himself that way.
You’re definitely not dramatic. She needs to prove she can respect boundaries and so right now she’s lost her privileges. My mom did something similar I kept telling her not to touch the baby’s hands (bc he was constantly putting his hands in his mouth) and after the third time I said “ok visit is over. You’ll be invited back when you can listen” and that was months and months later.