Hello everyone. I have been struggling with really bad anxiety and panic attacks for the past two months. I’ve honestly been really struggling since the beginning of the year when my dad had a stroke, but I at least could be functional then if I really really pushed myself.
About a month and a half ago, I had my first “real” panic attack and I thought I was dying. I was on a flight to go home and right before takeoff, my pulse skyrocketed to the 170’s (I used to wear an Apple Watch to track my pulse because I have suspected POTS, but I haven’t been wearing it lately because it’s been making me more anxious) and I felt lightheaded and dizzy, it was hard for me to breathe and I had extreme dry mouth. I had to make the plane turn around and go back to the gate so I could get off. I ended up taking a $400 Lyft back home because I couldn’t stand the thought of being on a plane again.
I really tried to move on from that, treated like a one time thing, but I kept getting panic attacks. At first it was just when I’d push myself too hard physically or socially, but now it’s mostly whenever I have to leave my apartment and/or interact or be around other people. And when I have the panic attacks, I literally feel like I’m having a heart attack or a stroke or something. Like, it’s so bad. My heart starts racing, my chest feels heavy and it’s hard to breathe, I get really impatient/easily frustrated with little things around me, and the muscles in my entire body start to feel really weak and I feel like I’m losing control of myself, which makes me panic even more. I try to calm myself down, but the only thing that helps is going home and laying down in a dark room. I think honestly a lot of it is just me being overwhelmed, as the worst of it only seems to happen when I leave my apartment and I’m out in public around people.
I also have extreme health anxiety that has been contributing to it all. I’ve been to the ER twice in the past month because I’ve had body aches and stomach that have made me so anxious because I convinced myself I had various health issues that could be lethal. The second time I went, I had a massive panic attack in the waiting room and literally thought I was dying.
I made several appointments with my primary care doctor following these visits, one of which I didn’t show up to at all, and the second of which I showed up, started having a panic attack before I was even brought back to the exam room, then I looked at the chair I’d be sitting in and thought about how I have to sit there and let the nurse take my vitals and I just started having anxiety about getting through the entire appointment. So I left the appointment and just drove straight home.
Eventually, I got a telemedicine appointment with my primary care provider this past Tuesday and she prescribed me 10 mg of fluoxetine. It took a lot out of me physically and mentally even to just leave the apartment to pick up the medication (this happened Wednesday) and I still haven’t taken my first dose. I really shouldn’t have done this, but the first thing I did was come to this sub and read all of people‘s experiences and all the side effects that they have experienced. Dry mouth, nausea, insomnia, headaches. All things that I already experience and they are absolutely triggers for my anxiety. So if those symptoms become worse or more constant, especially for weeks and weeks and weeks on end, it would absolutely drive me insane. And on top of that, no relief from the anxiety? So I’ll have all these extra side effects on top of the health anxiety that I have regarding taking pills ON TOP OF my normal everyday anxiety? How am I supposed to survive that? How am I supposed to function? And I don’t even mean out in the world, since I had to quit my job and have no relationships with anybody anymore because I just can’t be around people, but if I can’t even find peace in my own apartment in my own bed, what then? My solution to when I have anxiety attacks is just lay down and try to calm down enough to pass out and take a nap., But with the insomnia from the medication, how would I do that? I would have literally no escape.
I’ve been prescribed propanolol and hydroxyzine in the past, but I’ve always been too scared to take them. Now, I’m too scared to take fluoxetine. I really don’t know what to do. I’m just on a tight rope right now and I don’t wanna do anything to knock me off. My mental and physical health is just so shit, I can’t afford to feel even marginally worse. Most of what I’ve seen on the sub is that it gets worse before it gets better, and that it’s weeks and weeks and weeks of side effects before it gets better, IF it gets better. But I don’t think I can handle it being that bad for that long. But then again, I can’t handle what’s going on right now either. I can’t even leave the house and run errands.
I don’t know guys. I think I’m overthinking this, but I just don’t wanna be trapped in a situation that I can’t come back from. I have people relying on me, I have a cat, my dad is nearly completely incapacitated, and I am his power of attorney, so I need to be coherent for him. I’m supposed to go back to his home state in the next couple of weeks to take care of some paperwork and see him for his birthday that just passed, but I have no idea how I’m gonna do that. The car ride alone is 8 hours and I clearly can’t fly. Even if I somehow survive the car ride, my dad can’t see me like this. I can’t interact with people that matter to me while I’m like this.
Any help you guys can give me or any words of encouragement to help me start this medication, or maybe I should ask my doctor to put me on something else, please just anything anyone has that might be helpful, I’m willing to receive with open ears and an open mind and an open heart. Thank you.
I’m in my third week on 10 mg of fluoxetine, and I haven’t had a single side effect. It has felt entirely normal pretty much the whole time. I was also super nervous before starting, but I reminded myself that it can’t be much worse than what I experience daily because of my anxiety. And if there’s a chance that the anxiety could decrease, why not try it?
i have been on a crazy long list of medications trying to find something that works well without side effects. i too get very anxious about side effects or my body feeling different, i avoid alcohol for this reason. i cannot guarantee you that you won't experience any side effects, but as someone who is particularly sensitive and prone to them, most of the time, they are very minor inconveniences. SSRIs like prozac are much less likely to give you such issues in comparison to SNRIs or other classes of medications. they are very safe and commonly used. prozac is a very popular option because of how many people do well on it. i have tried the medications you've been prescribed and any side effects from them were incredibly mild in comparison to others. i am very treatment resistant, so prozac did not work for me, but i didn't really get side effects either. i think maybe i was waking up a little too early on a higher dose of 40mg? that's about it, no issues falling asleep. 10mg is very small and a good place to start. i know you said hydroxyzine and propranolol were prescribed in the past, but i also thought it would be worth mentioning that i did not have issues with these either. propranolol helped me with no side effects. hydroxyzine did not seem to help, but all that i felt was a little sleepy. it's an antihistamine, like benadryl, which will also put me to sleep so i could understand there! i am so prone to side effects! but these ones did not bother me much. i've had some really frustrating ones like nightmares and sweating on cymbalta, nausea on pristiq, im dizzy on auvelity now, and i had an issue with abilify where i felt like i had a constant urge to move. i cant really tolerate ADHD meds, either. as much as i am very sensitive and cannot stay on meds that bother me like that, i know what it feels like for something to work, and it's worth trying it for me. i had such severe anxiety as a kid with emetophobia, and even though the side effects i've encountered have been annoying, i'll take those over the anxiety ridden life i was living before. i was on cymbalta for two years because i truly felt calm and levelheaded on it. i could go back to it if i felt i needed to. i'm trying to find something that doesn't give me such vivid dreams, though! clonazepam works best for my anxiety, and while it was terrifying to try a benzo knowing the horror stories that come with them, it has been a life saver when i've needed it. i don't even experience side effects on it! it was similar to propranolol but worked much more effectively with no side effects, taking it as needed. i don't know if this will soothe you as someone who has experienced a lot of side effects on other meds, but i wanted to offer a perspective of a scenario in which i have dealt with that frustration, and im ok with it. i don't regret trying those meds because in the end i was able to find ones that worked for me. a large majority of people do not experience side effects on meds like prozac. you'll hear the worst experiences online from a loud, but small group of people. it's very rare to have anything major happen, and uncommon to have the more mild inconveniences. even if something were to happen, it likely won't be as bad as you're imagining!