yup. exactly what you read. and i work in HEALTHCARE and im only 25. i got the call at work that my mom sh0t herself and was one of the first at the scene. obviously, this traumatized me.
A couple ladies i work with have told me im too depressing, i always have a “dark cloud over my head” and that i should leave personal feelings at the door. They also get mad when i leave for therapy or basically breathe.
the only malicious compliance i can say ive done is make them feel stupid lol. They now try to act “cool” with me, so when they talk to me or try to make a “joke” i just stare at them to make them uncomfortable and leave me alone LMAO. it honestly gets hard to hold it in with the amount of tension that happens from me just making the face “🤨” LMAO.
What else could i do?? one is a 70 year old women and the other is in her mid 30’s. apparently their telling everyone they hate me and if they don’t join them then they’ll end up being hated too. it’s just amusing at this point. 😂
any tips on how to piss them off but not get in trouble?
Report them to HR, I can't imagine a Healthcare org would look highly on two people bullying someone who just experienced what you did. I'm sorry for your loss.
oh i reported it to my VP - she now ignores me and favorites them lol. the last person who reported our VP to HR got fired immediately. she’s untouchable.
To clarify: this happened to OP over a year ago. If it’s still so fresh that it’s noticeable to coworkers then maybe OP is underselling how they are behaving at work.
I'm sorry for you all this is unfair and they're so messed up to treat you this way.
so where's the malicious compliance?
that’s what i’m asking help for. how to be maliciously compliant lol
Im sorry about your mother, and how you found her
Sorry for your loss, and look for a new job, there’s toxic people around you.
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I’d honestly be looking for another job before they have a chance to terminate you for “cause”. HR is to protect the company not the employees.
they won’t - they specifically taught me (i’m HR at our location but not a home office HR) that they do write ups and space them out specifically so it doesn’t look like they wanted to fire someone so they don’t have to pay unemployment. their strategic
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At this point nicely say the quiet part out loud "It's amazing how I can still accomplish all my work despite my mom k¡lling herself. "Aren't you just a ray of sunshine? Does the fact I'm grieving bother you? Why are you interested in making my life harder?
ooooo that last line hits hard. anytime i brought up my mom killing herself and i have PTSD they all just screamed at me “WE KNOW” at the same time. lol
Anytime they complain about anything just smile and politely say “leave your feelings at the door”
writing notes on these comments 📝
Are they aware of exactly what happened? Were I in your position (which I'm very sorry for) any time I got talked down for being depressed, I would just say "I'm sorry, I'm just thinking about how my mom shot herself and I was the first one on the scene. But hey, life goes on." Or something to that effect. Being blunt and direct may shame them into shutting up.
oh i did previously - they roll their eyes at me and tell me that it’s too much for them lol
Hi, I have worked as a CNA/CMA/Hospice Caregiver in a skilled nursing facility and hospital for over a dozen years. This is kind of adjacent to your scenario, but I think it'll help a little. After losing my first few residents, I asked one of the nurses that had been in that facility for over fifty years when does it get easier. She told me flat out "It doesn't, and if it does, you need to quit." What I took from that is this is a mentally taxing job in \*normal working circumstances\* not accounting for a horrible tragedy you're working through. You piss them off by doing a good job. It'll be hard, especially as you're working through what you're going to. But show up, do your job despite, and ignore them in every aspect outside of brutal professionalism. Yes, and No should be your only responses to them, followed with 'I need to get back to work now, I'm not here to gossip.' I wish the best for you, and that you can heal without these banshees making it harder for you.
You could maliciously comply in a (borderline?) psychopathic manner. First make some notes to yourself about the things in their lives they cherish - family member names, friend names, special possessions (car? painting or figurine or other decoration at home, favorite dress), special hobbies or major likes (favorite concerts / musicians / actors). Then, change your persona to all super bright and cheery - in the creepiest way possible. Think movie psychopathic villain creepy. And pepper your convo with them recounting one of their cherished things you noted (changing it up as you go). "I remember you have a sister that lives in ... Lubbock if I recall right. It's nice she lives somewhere safe." They wanted you happier. Just be scary happy.
You sound like a real bitch, TBH. I don't think they're the problem. Stop playing games at work and just do your job. You're not the only person that's lost someone to suicide, and not all of them completely flame out at work because of it. It is traumatic, but you don't get to lay the repercussions of it on your coworkers, maybe get some therapy.
lol i’m in therapy thank you. nobody is playin no fuckin games but them. i’ve been nice and tried my hardest to fix this - their just bitches. i lost my mom to SUICIDE. go touch some fuckin grass, you seem just as bad as them
"Hello, H.R.? I'd like a brief meeting with you."
Buy some earbuds and enjoy the music
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Get a new job
I'm sorry for your loss, and for how you are being treated. That said, this is not an advice sub, it's a sub to tell your stories of malicious compliance, including the fallout that occurred because of your behavior.
You are going to encounter many insensitive, immature and emotionally stunted people in this world. It’s always a shock to encounter them, but don’t waste your energy on plans to piss them off. It’s good you are in therapy and have someone to talk to about your loss. Suicide of a family member is like a bomb going off in your soul. Do you have a sympathetic boss you can talk to?
Go somewhere that's far more healthy, workplace wise, nation wise. Here's a sample. https://youtu.be/UnN8jk0Tvhc