This sounds like a healthy approach. At risk of oversimplifying, Stoicism can be described as “mindfulness.” That is, being aware of one’s thoughts and feelings and acting consciously — not out of passion. It sounds like you are being introspective and reflecting — being mindful — about your thoughts, actions, and feelings and using that information to act intentionally (mindfully) toward your partner. Being vulnerable is valuable, because it allows you to live authentically. It is also scary, especially in the beginning of a new relationship, because it can open yourself up to judgement, rejection and the fear associated with those hypothetical potentialities. Ultimately, you should reach the place where fear is not necessarily a justification to withhold your thoughts, but rather an indication that your partner’s reaction may provide useful information. If they consistently react poorly to the feelings you share, they may not be the one for you.
Thank you. I think in the past we let our defenses rule the relationships while vulnerability was left behind and now we're trying to switch them around.