How to accept I’ll never be a real man

I’m ftm 16, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be a real man/transition. My dysphoria is all fake and I bet I wouldn’t even want to be a man…. My cause for “dysphoria” is me wanting to be a man, not me actually being one… there’s a difference, I’m not truly trans, I’m just a woman who wants to be a man. It doesn’t matter how envious I make myself of real men, I’ll never be one. My brain structure is female even if I hate it. All my “intrusive thoughts” can’t all possibly be ocd, it’s just what my brain wants since I’m a girl and I should just accept it… if I was a real man, why would I realize later in life? Why would I feel that I don’t deserve a man’s body/that it wouldn’t fit me? Sure I might not have other motives for transitioning, I’m not traumatized, I don’t have body dysmorphia, I’m not even masculine, and that’s because I just wanted to be a man, probably from influence I didn’t even realize. I’m been “scared I like my body” recently because I find myself attractive but maybe it’s realization I’m faking. I’m so miserable as a woman, I attempted multiple time because I “felt like one”. I don’t know what to do, therapy can’t really help because they aren’t going to make me a cis man and I can’t transition due to my parents