Hello Reddit. First time ever making a post on here, so go easy on me please.
So for context, I'm a 26 yr old male, and like the title suggests, I'm going through it right now. Before this year, I had always been at least a little depressed, having unknowingly suffered from chronic obstructive sleep apnea for most of my teenage/adult life, 10+ years at least. Then several things happened this year and last that all just kind of piled up and broke something in me;
The start of my downward spiral happened in November of last year, when I pulled a muscle in my chest while at work, and got worried that I was having some kind of heart attack. I got so worked up about it, that I experienced what I believe might have been a manic episode (I have never been diagnosed with BPD so I can't say for certain, but based on the symptoms I had; impulsivity, racing thoughts, extreme euphoria, etc, that's what I believe it was).
Then, around the beginning of this year, I started cpap therapy for my sleep apnea. But around the same time, two other things happened; I got fired from that same job, for something I didn't even do. And then I got sick with an awful sinus infection, that I thought I could cure with some amoxicillin that I had on hand. Except it didn't end up clearing fully, and I was so strung out I waited way too long to see an actual doctor, and just ended up suffering for months on end, getting it in my head that I was dying from some brain sepsis or something crazy like that.
This health anxiety about my brain ended up really freaking me out, which made my focus/memory worse, which ended up validating those fears, etc etc.
All this crap just piled up and ended up throwing me into the single worst depressive episode I've ever had. Before now I had always experienced mild depression symptoms, and in my naivete thought that that was the worst it would ever get. So I was NOT prepared for the myriad of terrible symptoms that a true depressive episode has to offer, and I'm struggling to cope.
Now, fortunately, I have seen several doctors, who all say I'm fine, and that's helped center me a lot. But a lot of the symptoms are still lingering, and I'm trying really hard not to fall back into that anxious spiral every time I feel them crop up.
For example, idk if anyone else has experienced this, but I feel like my reading comprehension has just totally plummeted? I used to be able to scan sentences and gather their meaning really quickly. But now I find myself constantly misreading words, having to re-read sentences over and over, much slower than I used to, and it's driving me crazy since reading is one of my favorite pastimes. I already got my eyes checked and they also said they couldn't find anything wrong.
The fact that I'm even typing this out should probably convince me that there's nothing wrong with my brain, but my anxiety doesn't really play by my logics' rules.
I just wanted to share this, see if anyone else knows how I feel, and hopefully not feel so alone anymore.
TLDR: First major depressive episode sent me spiraling cuz I wasn't prepared. Feel like I can't read as well anymore and it's driving me crazy.