Also, please let me know if this post violates any rules as that is not my intention and I don't want to get banned.
Your title already doesn't comply with sub rules. Read the sidebar.
Hi guys! I've posted on here a few days ago about something that's unrelated to this post and got some decent advice from you guys and I would really appreciate you guys' perspectives on this post as well! Also, please let me know if this post violates any rules as that is not my intention and I don't want to get banned.
So, to start this off, my relationship with my dad was pretty good when I (21M) was a child ( as much as I can remember ) , and he used to bring me to different places to see the world I guess? From what I can remember, my childhood memories of me and him were actually pretty decent. Now, my relationship with him started to get bad when I was around 16 years old, ( during COVID lockdowns ) I'm 21 years old now, now that I'm writing this out and thinking about it, my relationship started to get bad with literally everyone in the family ( I'm not sure if this has anything to do with COVID ) and I am also the only child if that matters. My mom and dad divorced when I was around 10 years old if that matters and I lived with my dad's side of the family. I also remember that I held a knife or scissors to my grandma's throat when I was 15 or 16 years old ( I think I did it because I got mad at her for something but I can't remember too well but I for sure did hold a knife/scissors to her throat and this was also during COVID Lockdown ). Okay but my relationship with my grandma is actually pretty good right now and I would never do that to her ever again ( I hope not ).
Okay, so let's talk about the next family member, my grandpa. My relationship with my grandpa before COVID was okay/good, it wasn't bad but it also wasn't good good, you know? There were some ups and downs but in general, it wasn't that bad. However, during COVID my relationship with him went downhill as well. I'm not going to go into the super specifics but usually the things that never mattered to me before mattered to me during COVID Lockdown ? Like he used to smoke cigarettes and let a little cigarette smoke smell come into the house ( but he lives in the basement, there was no way the smoke could come up to the first and second floor, I don't even know why I made it a big deal before. ) And I used to pay so much attention to him doing that and constantly telling him to not let the smoke inside the house when I could literally use that time to focus on something more important. Note that this never really mattered to me before COVID or even now. Oh yeah and there's also one more great thing I did when I was 15/16/17 ( Either during COVID or just a little bit after COVID Lockdowns ). I kicked a hole in my grandpa's room's wall. I think I had an argument with my grandpa on something but I don't quite remember what it was. And, the house was under my auntie and my dad's names.
My relationship with my family has improved now and gotten a little better than before. Now, the main point of this post is that my relationship with my dad has gone downhill while my relationship with my grandparents went uphill. The reason is because we would always argue if we were together, like from what I remember there was a fight/argument every time I go to his place to work for summer break and it's also just over small things I guess? Like last summer I told him to k*ll himself and many bad words because I was living somewhere else for summer break after sophomore year ended hoping I would never see him again. Now, he came to where I worked ( I told him where I worked ) to see me when I didn't want to see him. And because of that, it made me think about everything he has said to me before like "do you know how to eat" and also told his friend that I put something in my shoes to make myself look taller ( I literally did not ) and he told me afterwards that what he said was all just jokes ? But here's the thing, he's the one that's been paying for my college expenses. After I texted him all the bad stuff, he immediately terminated my access to his credit card and demanded that I talk to him over the phone. Then, when I finally talked to him over the phone and apologized a little he let me use his credit card again. But then I told him to k*ll himself again after a few days ( I think I was thinking about something that happened between us again ) and then he told me to go see a doctor. I never went to see a doctor and I told him I just wanted him to apologize to me because his words hurt me a lot. Then, comes winter break, this time around I had another argument with my aunt because she said something I didn't like so I blocked her and went to my dad's place again. Guess what happened? We argued AGAIN. He kept telling me about resume stuff and I think I kind of overreacted ? Then he said he gave up on me and terminated my credit card once and for all. He told me to get out of his place but I stayed there for 2 days for him to calm down a bit and then 2 days later I agreed to fly back to my school after asking him for one more chance and begging him to pay for my college expenses. But, he did not agree to it. The next morning came, I woke up and got on my phone to buy an airplane ticket, and then all of a sudden he got up and said "Good morning, how was your sleep last night?" and he asked if I wanted another chance. After a moment I said yeah sure. ( it was kinda weird to me because I was begging him for another chance the night before which he kept saying no to ) And so he gave me a chance to work at his place again telling me that I need to pay for my own college expenses from now on. Also, not sure if this is important or not but he also drove to sleep at my other relative's place because he knows that his snores at night makes it hard for me to sleep at night. Then, before I left for college again, he gave me extra $1,000 and I think one extra day of work pay.
Okay, so I am currently working at my dad's place again because I don't have enough money to pay for my college expenses, there were some ups and downs when I was here the first month and a half but some ups I guess are that he took me to a mall to buy new clothes for me and new shoes for me. He also gave me his car to drive for the days I don't have work. (He pays for all the gas) And he always gives me more money for the paychecks as well.
My question is do you guys think my relationship with my dad can still be good again after all these years ?
TLDR: relationship with family has gone downhill since COVID but better than before now, but not sure if relationship with dad can still be good again ?
Also, please let me know if this post violates any rules as that is not my intention and I don't want to get banned.
Your title already doesn't comply with sub rules. Read the sidebar.