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r/socialskills · u/Empty-Swing1 Ağu 2026 15:46

How do I respond to people if I don't want to give them my name at work?

I work at a small business that is similar to a smoke shop. (Very informal setting) Most of the people that come in are not people I'd associate with or want to see going about my daily life outside of work, it tends to mostly be men sexualizing anything and everything, so I prefer to keep it brief and nothing about me, but it never fails they keep talking and asking questions about me even if I'm silent when they do. But when they ask my name I don't feel like I'm obligated to tell them, but they feel entitled to know it.

I could just give a fake name but in the moment I hesitate trying to think of one and they're like it's just a name, but it's my boundary.

Is it so weird that I don't want to give my name out to them?

120

Yorumlar

u/MITEVOLI301 Ağu 2026 15:52
I believe you need to make a work alias and stick to it. Some people even make associated social media for those men that try to find you.
- u/Empty-Swing21 Ağu 2026 16:03
  I never thought of this but it's a great idea. There's alot of weird social media stalking, it's like they almost feel proud to tell you something they found out about your personal life. Thanks, I'm going to do this.
- u/sdavis00241 Ağu 2026 16:37
  I have some friends that all work together and most of them use a work alias because some men don't take hints very well. Very few customers that go to the store ever know their real names. Sometimes though, they don't even want the customers to know their work alias either, so they make up another name on the spot and it can be kind of amusing since English is their second language and they aren't too familiar with American names.
u/lonely-dustmite251 Ağu 2026 15:52
Come up with a work persona and keep the same fake name for everyone that asks. If your coworkers are around at the same time then I’d let them know so they don’t call you your real name in front of them
- u/Empty-Swing121 Ağu 2026 16:05
  I actually did tell my coworker because she told me someone asked my name, I asked her to please not share anything about me. I can tell she's trying to throw shade about it, she makes little remarks like I think I'm something because I like privacy.
  - u/ChiefingHippo151 Ağu 2026 16:121 yanıt
  - u/saiphxo41 Ağu 2026 16:26
u/Head_Hacker1311 Ağu 2026 15:53
Why don’t you think about a fake name to use now, whilst you’re not under pressure to make one up, and stick with that every time someone asks you?
- u/Empty-Swing141 Ağu 2026 16:04
  I am going to do that and what the other person suggested to make a social media profile with the fake name. Thank you.
  - u/jenniferami171 Ağu 2026 16:421 yanıt
  - u/InterrobangWispers-11 Ağu 2026 17:46
  - u/G-BOAT11 Ağu 2026 17:54
  - u/cheapbritney11 Ağu 2026 18:29
  - u/Modern_Misdoing11 Ağu 2026 18:59
- u/504Solid171 Ağu 2026 16:26
  I have a weird name. 40 years ago, unusual names were even more uncommon. Started at an answering service where we had to answer with your name ("gold start plumbing, this is Amy, can I help you?") Supervisor said pick a name, tell her, always use it. So pick 1 work alias and keep it. Simple.
  - u/the_other_50_percent11 Ağu 2026 19:00
- u/DrunkCupid21 Ağu 2026 16:53
  I'm Jane Doe"
- u/nanfanpancam21 Ağu 2026 16:53
  Jasper
u/Undisclosed-Entity41 Ağu 2026 15:54
Pick one specific fake name and stick to it. Practice saying it so you don’t hesitate when they ask. That’s what I’ve done. It’s not perfect, because it still feels like caving into them which I hate, but sometimes it’s safer to just lie than to bluntly reject.
- u/Empty-Swing11 Ağu 2026 16:06
  I'm going to do this, thank you. It feels good to know I'm not the only one who wants to be private. I was feeling like it was too much to ask or it was weird behavior, so thank you!
  - u/v-porphyria11 Ağu 2026 18:54
u/georgeofthejungle7131 Ağu 2026 16:01
If you don't want to give out your name, my suggestion. Build yourself a work persona. And be that person. My take on the customers asking. It's a casual environment. You have customers who are gregarious. And they want to be able to say hey Bob how are you. Can I get some more of that good stuff you recommended last time. Or... Tell their buddies, go see Fred at the smoke shack on fedora, that guy knows his stuff.
u/Sea-Kaleidoscope-55171 Ağu 2026 16:02
Pick a generic name, like look up the most popular name for your generation and go with that. If you must do the same for last names, whats the most common last name in your area. Then if those guys try to search you up they'll have to go through 30,000 results of people with that same name.
u/TheSheWhoSaidThats21 Ağu 2026 16:04
Think of it like having a stripper name. You simply cannot choose to be in that profession then expect clients to not hit on you. Maybe your area isn’t sexually explicit, but it apparently is seedy on some level, or rather the cliental is. So you don’t let them touch you, don’t share any personal info, don’t compromise your safety. But you do need to interact with them on some level. Particularly in a way that gets them out the door faster. I agree with having a work persona. Fake name, fake basic facts. Share something that makes them feel they won so they stop badgering the cornered future victim and leave.
- u/Empty-Swing21 Ağu 2026 16:11
  The owner is like family to me, that's the only reason I'm there, so he can spend more time with his wife and kids. Yes you're right about the people, it's just a small place and the people not doing the best in life regarding manners and other things come in. I am going to stick to a work name and persona. I'll have to think of a few fake details, but yes my goal is always get them out the door. Thank you!
u/ProtozoaPatriot31 Ağu 2026 16:15
Give them your nickname. If they start asking personal questions, redirect the conversation back to the product or services your store sells.
- u/Empty-Swing11 Ağu 2026 16:17
  Thank you for this. I'm working on redirection where I don't hesitate and it flows naturally.
u/IHaveABigDuvet11 Ağu 2026 16:23
Settle on a fake name that you like and then just simply use that when a person like this asks.
u/iosdevcoff31 Ağu 2026 16:34
Terrible advice throughout. Say “I don’t wanna say my name. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
- u/finefergitit11 Ağu 2026 16:55
  I’m with you, no way I would play along with this shit.
u/TJBangs6911 Ağu 2026 16:47
literally even new person i meet i tell them a different name that i come up with on the spot. i have a foreign name and know they wont get it and i'll have to sit there an spell it out for them and say it a couple of times....aint nobody got time for that. I just tell everyone my name is TJ
u/runrun95021 Ağu 2026 17:02
I understand not wanting to deal with people you consider creeps, but it’s weird to work a customer service job and not want to tell someone what to call you.
u/venight11 Ağu 2026 17:36
can you think of a nickname you could go by? I go by a nickname and not my full name, but I have my full name online, so nobody can actually find me if they looked. i’m not technically lying because nobody actually calls me by my full name.
u/swineoverlord11 Ağu 2026 17:40
I used to work at a smoke shop. When people would ask my name I’d redirect and just not answer, if they pressed I would give them my middle name and not my first name bc my middle isn’t listed on anything.
u/Eimai14531 Ağu 2026 17:46
Think up a nick name and give that. Nickles. Jonesy. Scooter. Bama. Whatever you want.
u/cheapbritney11 Ağu 2026 18:27
If you come up with a fake persona, people can get mad and say you’re lying. If you come up with something that is clearly not a name, you can say “you can call me Starlight” If they insist, like, “But that’s not your name!” You can say “That’s what I go by (:” and smile. “That’s what they call me!”
u/Pristine_Coffee411111 Ağu 2026 18:39
Wear a name tag with your fake work name and also a wedding ring!
u/Tim-Ashcraft11 Ağu 2026 18:42
Tell them, just call me The Dude ( Big Lebowski). It just may catch on
u/Khristafer11 Ağu 2026 19:44
To the last part of your question, yes, it's pretty weird to not give someone your name. It's blatantly antisocial behavior, but then again, you're apparently doing it intentionally, so I'm not judging that. It's like refusing a handshake or being bad at eye contact. It's just simple scripted part of pro-social behavior. When you violate it, it makes the other person feel uncomfortable and experience a type of shame that they can't explain. They were engaging in a social ritual and it was denied, and now they don't know what the next step is. The consensus on this thread is right. Life's just easier if you're able to engage in the social script.
u/Prestigious_Initial111 Ağu 2026 19:49
Just lie and say people call me (fake name). Then keep it moving no need to overthink.